Today we received a nice little note telling us that here at The Divorce Dress we do not respect the “sanctity of marriage.” It was not a message that we haven’t heard before, nor will it be the last. Seems like this marriage thing holds some real power, and it can be a touchy subject. ( *Fun fact: "In Western cultures, more than 90 percent of people marry by age 50. However, about 40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce. The divorce rate for subsequent marriages is even higher." American Phycological Association)
So we talked about it, what we respect, what we don’t. We have been so submerged in divorce stories and respecting the sanctity of finding one’s footing after someone’s world has been shattered, that it would be kind of easy to dismiss that marriage forum all together.
Except for that tiny little issue: We eat cake first.
When we think about marriage, some of us think about love, weddings, traditions, and the longevity. Many of us also know that there will be bumps, potholes, and gruesome roadkill carnage that will need to be navigated. It’s what bonds us together. We learn from it, and we grow. When I think about the institution of marriage, I really do honor it. We at The Divorce Dress are married, and some of us have been Divorced as well. We love our partners and don’t see our marriages ending. However, we know all the highs and lows that come with a long term relationship and marriage. Even the best relationships are hard and we have moments of complete disdain for one another. We also have moments of complete love and compassion for theirs and our humanity and imperfections.
But getting back to brass tacks, this forum is for the DIVORCED or soon to be Divorced. This is a safe place to vent. To say the unthinkable and work through it. A place to talk about the stigma of divorce, the pain, the anguish, the healing and the rebuilding of lives and self esteem, the rebirth that comes inevitably, and the overall change that happens to individuals who suffer/rejoice the divorce process, including the people who have lived through it (think kids) but who have never been divorced themselves. So let’s say what others think but are afraid to say outloud and let the healing begin!
That other forum, the “sanctity of marriage” forum...that is someone else’s story, someone else’s journey, and we respect that enough to leave that for someone else to write. They can explain in any amount of detail, how to make a marriage last forever, where the divorced people went wrong, sacrifice and how perfect their institution can be. (I may even read their book) I hope their wisdom helps those who hear it. It is important for all to have a voice and we here at The Divorce Dress respect that. However, don’t think for one minute you can quell us or take away our voice. We are here to let you know, as long as there is marriage there will be divorce, so we aren’t going anywhere!
The sanctity of marriage
Kicked my little ass